My situation is easy to decipher. Graduated from a class of over 550 students with a 4.0. Decent drunkenly taken SAT scores. Acceptance to a decent university: Texas A&M.
Now, My left hand picks up a bottle of vodka, takes a swig, swallows diet soda and continues on with a day that includes nothing but internet browsing. And you are right. I have accomplished nothing. I never had a drawn out goal of an occupation that I had wanted to tackle. There were no aspirations of greatness here, no applications churned in– at the very least I hoped for mediocrity. Well, I was unable to make it across that hurdle as well.
So, here I am at twenty-eight…. nothing to look forward to….. only people to fall back into the trenches with. What does that make me? A failure. One of many intellectual vagrants? I’m not afraid of that term because I have embraced and defined it in regards to myself.
When you cannot find something in yourself to inspire or invigorate you… what then? You are stuck in this equilibrium. I used to be considered so prodigious and now I am nothing. I have every intention of becoming what everyone once believed I would become because I can be that…. I am smart… I am talented… and above all things I am dedicated. If I am not the best then I am the worst.
So, essentially…. I am waiting for a job to call on my imaginary cell phone for a job that does not exist. Such is my life.