My situation is easy to decipher.  Graduated from a class of over 550 students with a 4.0.  Decent drunkenly taken SAT scores.  Acceptance to a decent university: Texas A&M.

Now, My left hand picks up a bottle of vodka, takes a swig, swallows diet soda and continues on with a day that includes nothing but internet browsing.  And you are right.  I have accomplished nothing.  I never had a drawn out goal of an occupation that I had wanted to tackle.  There were no aspirations of greatness here, no applications churned in– at the very least I hoped for mediocrity.  Well, I was unable to make it across that hurdle as well.

So, here I am at twenty-eight…. nothing to look forward to….. only people to fall back into the trenches with.  What does that make me?  A failure.  One of many intellectual vagrants?   I’m not afraid of that term because I have embraced and defined it in regards to myself.

When you cannot find something in yourself to inspire or invigorate you… what then?  You are stuck in this equilibrium.   I used to be considered so prodigious and now I am nothing.  I have every intention of becoming what everyone once believed I would become because I can be that…. I am smart… I am talented… and above all things I am dedicated.  If I am not the best then I am the worst.

So, essentially…. I am waiting for a job to call on my imaginary cell phone for a job that does not exist.  Such is my life.


About littlelostsunny

Lost inside her mind. Inspired to blog because if not the thoughts start to control my life. I needed an outlet.

Posted on May 8, 2014, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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