Magnets. And Magnetes.
Inspired by the kindness and generosity that has been bestowed on me in recent months. I don’t know if it’s a change in my outlook or a change in attitude, but I’m accepting the love with open arms!
Look at all the magnets on a chalkboard
Spontaneity… patterns that I can’t ignore
I see art and writings on the insides of my brain
Hyroglyphs creeping up along my vertebrae
They’re driving me insane.
I see a code that I know that I am ripe
and right here to decipher
But, to some it seems as I am
nothing but a frequent liar.
Burned and scorned, adorned
by this curse from said Lucifer.
To be a slave to a life of petulance
One of arrogance,
Just a lack of all religiousness
While Maybe some of these are true
I’ll never know me like you do
But, what I say is what I knew
And the good I do is ’cause of you
I can look into this piece of glass
Fall into depths and shimmers of the past
I can look into a shattered mirror on the floor
And know I’m not who I was before
I see faint lines and faded cracks
Of what I could be and what I lack
But, I will never step back in-to (two)
I promise you that I’ll behave, but
Soil so deep in this shallow grave
Six feet into a life I’ll never leave.
I’ve crawled out of all the doubt that grew
Vowed that I would start anew
Forget who I was back before
When I was all who I now abhor
I now shirk the pain and believe I’ll regain
Strength that I did believe to be real.
Building, growing then falling down hill.
Hitting rock bottom, face now paint smeared on the ground
Did I find peace? Am I happy? Am I finally sound?
Or am I reliving those distant chimes of a past?
Of memories I had hoped would never last?
I cover my eyes– shield my face from the pain.
Wear garments to protect myself from the rain.
This umbrella it folds, as I stare up at the sky.
My eyes all ablaze, with the sight oh-so-dry.
Tears all gone.
I now smile at the dawn.
The dread of acid a con.
I’m embraced by the warmth.
I’m enveloped by love.
I’m perplexed by perplexity.
I’m completely undone.
What did I do to deserve a new shot?
Should I rid my disease?
With a bullet to a well placed dot?
To shatter my life, or accept this change?
A direction determined here on this gun range.
I choose love, I choose life.
I choose pain. I choose strife.
I am here. I feel fear.
But, I’ll remain. Have no doubt.