My life is a series of ebbs and flows.  My gal could not have hurt me worse than she did a handful of hours ago– but this is what you sign up for when becoming engaged to a bipolar girl.  I am as well.  I get it.  You say things that don’t mean shit.   You might of thought them in regards to a fleeting memory,  but you  don’t intend to sear those close to you with these erroneous– but maybe perceptive thoughts.  Or maybe you do.  But, I do not.  I say things that I never intend to stick to Meg’s gorgeous facade.  I fuck up.  I am never going to outgrow that,  I have just  learnt to admit that I did something wrong. I write this in a sheepish and forlorn manner. …  I am so sorry  that Megs fell in love with me.    It took me 27 years to understand the depth and significance of my flaws. .   I know I say things out of spite when in reality I am just and justly angry with myself.   And I take the recoil of my fiance’s backlash as the same type of fuming and venting.   Perhaps I am in denial,  but if that were in fact a reality– would she be fucking me and with me after  4 years.  Did not think so.


About littlelostsunny

Lost inside her mind. Inspired to blog because if not the thoughts start to control my life. I needed an outlet.

Posted on November 19, 2013, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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