I’ve lost all ability to care about anything– including writing.. I love my dog and my fiance. But, hell I can’t see anything nor am I able to get married. I can’t fight an addiction that I have. I can’t get a job. Seriously, what is there besides my love? But, sometimes my inwardly directed animosities seep out of my pores and envelop my gorgeous gir with the wrath of passion and self-absorbed anger. l. I don’t even realize it until it’s too late to withdraw it. I try so hard to keep my antagonistic feelings in my heart and not seeping from my veins. I try so hard. To be frank, even on my worst days, I am never that harsh. I am very mild in my tantrums– but having them to begin with worries me. I just want her to know that I love her at all times. I will never wrong her. And I know that she does everything for me. And I could not be luckier to have snatched her up 🙂 almost 4 years ago 😀 😀 😀
It’s a tale as old as time
Not too blind to see the signs
where all my dreams went down the drain
and my tears keep coming down like rain
I’m alive only in your eyes
Which is why it’s difficult to surmise
How I have a great thing dissolve
With an easy solution to ressolve.
I set my own marks to reach and fail
Become your own worst enemy
Learn from past mistakes
Or realize that you have not made enough
Obviously life is just not tough enough.
I’m itchy twitchy bitchy
And I cannot sleep at night
I’d rather watch the moonlight
Sunrise– maybe then I can rise again
Turn this spin into the southwind
Grow up, chin up, show up.
What other options exist?
My heart is like a metronome
The speed of which is quite unknown
But, I can hope, I can feel,
Hoping all of this can be real.
I have to live up, to my potential.
And get referential.
I can’t explain how I feel
Although I hope the sadness isn’t real