So, I had some very sweet people reach out to me about this. Thanks to those people. I am so sorry if I burdened anyone with my over privileged annoying self. I am a spoiled brat who ruined everything. That I know…. I think the writing was on the wall that this would happen. But, now I am faced with this most important decision…. can I do this on my own with doctors locally or am I forced to spend time in rehab where I know no one and cannot talk to anyone because that scares me more? Can I leave my girlfriend and my dog? She being the only person I can talk to besides my parents (including my sister… who terrifies me most of all).? I don’t know what to do anymore. But, I need to get better or I will die. And despite hating myself… I know that I would have been capable of accomplishing more than I had a chance to due to addiction. Good lord, I’m just so sorry to everyone I know.