Rainy Day and Cloudy Heart

I gaze into the twilit sky.

It’s colors bleed and so do I.

These blue eyes shine bright with each falling ray.

Behind the gloss, a crystal ball.

A bible of betrayal.

They see the truth.

They know SO much.

Smarter than they seem.

Open wide to every word

And every promise thrown my way.

They always take it in.

Suck it up. And take it in.

Each painted smile.  Each fragile lie.

The callous disregard

Your phony words fall upon deaf ears.

A tired mind.

This defense I’ve built

These weighty bricks held strong.

The mortar wears each time I see your smile.

Your face.

I’ve taken risks.

I’ve let you in.

Hungrily eye my porous skin.

The cracks, the holes.

The ways to reach my barren soul,

Exposed for all to see.

It’s hard to be so free with all I know.

With all I’ve felt so deep below

The surface of these battered limbs

This heart so scarred beneath the blood.

Hiding deep within the ground.

Out of reach from those greedy hands.

I’ve paved the way.

Carved destiny out of all the rocks

Worn so smooth with wanting hands.

Turning over all the stones, hoping.

Waiting for the past to disappear.

For my merits to come through.

To stand there on their own.

To show you what I’ve always known.

I’ll never lie.  Never let you down.

I’ll fight each time life turns its back.

I always do.

To carry you when storms blow near.

Pull you back to shore, wipe your salty tears.

Protect you from the world at bay.

To hold you close

But, all I have to offer is what you see.

Nothing here is less than real.

Dig in your claws, you’ll find I bleed.

I’m not as hollow as you thought.

The echoes bouncing off the walls.

The desperate cries, why can’t you see

It’s all for you.

And nothing’s changed.

And never will.



About littlelostsunny

Lost inside her mind. Inspired to blog because if not the thoughts start to control my life. I needed an outlet.

Posted on October 9, 2009, in Emo Crap. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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