Pandas, Pandemics, Pacific Coast and Paella Oh My!
This post is brought to you by the Letter P…and even more it’s brought to you by one of my favorite literary stylistic devices: alliteration.
So, it’s my excuse to shoot the shit with yous guys about some random ass things that have been floating in that skull of mine.
First on the list:
There was recently an article floating around the interwebz that was stating the case for letting the Giant Panda die out with dignity. It was said that they are not a strong enough species to survive without environmental agencies pouring millions of dollars into preserving it. There are approximately 1600 pandas left and in order to survive they must consume copious amounts of bamboo a day. And most scholars would agree that panda is an evolutionary anomaly. That’s my polite way of saying they are doomed to die out.
Why? Because they eat fucking bamboo.
Bamboo makes up 99% of their diet. They are only pulling twenty percent of their energy from bamboo. Whereas if they were carnivorous they would pull upwards of sixty percent from the meat. This is how other bears are able to pack on the pounds and hibernate during the harsh winter months.
Pandas, however, just crawl higher up their little trees and eat more bamboo during the winter. They don’t have enough fat supply to hibernate.
Sigh. Silly pandas.
It’s been deduced that they stem from a carnivorous species. And they still retain the same digestive tract that is tailor-made for meat consumption. In fact, their biological makeup prevents them from gaining much nutritional content from the bamboo stalks.
They don’t even do well in the cold. They need to hibernate. Truly. They love sleeping–12 hours + a day. But, because they are skinny-minis (in the bear world) they can’t take a nappy nap during the winter.
But, they also lack a predatory instinct or the skill set necessary to hunt prey. So, they do what they can to survive. But, it’s just not good enough.
Bamboo is constantly being harvested and cleared off for both agricultural reasons and due to the ever expanding Chinese population.
Yeah, it’s humans fault. Whatever. But, the thing is… humans are not going to sacrifice their lives for the damn panda bear. Expansion of the human race is going to happen at the expense of some animals. And they are either going to adapt or die out. Pandas won’t be the first nor the last species to suffer this fate. Fact is… they are an aberration in terms of evolution. And maybe we should let them die out gracefully and spend the money on preserving species that don’t fail in every category other than being cute.
Humans are clearly the more dominant species. If it were up to me i would hope that the human race would die out gracefully before we destroy the earth forever. But, we have to accept that not all animals survive. Species go extinct. Survival of the fittest. Animals either evolve or they die out. Its happened before and it should happen again. I’m all about natural selection. I happen to dislike pandas. And it’s true that we are definitely aiding in the downfall of the panda by cutting down its natural habitat. But, all signs point to it being a weak species. It’s whatever though. I’m not going to go out panda hunting.
One of my good friends (a very intelligent friend) brought up the point, a very valid point, I might add… that we as a people spend WAY more money per year on our pets than we do preserving the panda. And that when you think about it dogs cannot survive on their own in the wild and thus we should let them die out with dignity.
And to that I responded with:
I actually think that dogs probably COULD survive in the wild–at least certain breeds. The closer to the original prototype of the wolf the more likely its ability to adapt to wildlife survival. There are many dogs that live in nature: dingos, jackals, coyotes, wolves, etc.
It’s just that we have bastardized the species through specialization–tweaking the makeup of the dogs to better aid us. We utilized selective breeding to create a more useful working dog or pet. Yet another sign of human dominance and its effect on nature.
Watch this shiz: Huskies Hunting in the Disney film Eight Below.
Next topic: Pandemics
The H1N1 flu virus. Whew. A topic that’s been talked.to.death for sure. I have been hearing people talk about this, but I have yet to listen. HOWEVER, now my ears are wide open because, seriously, EVERYONE has this damn virus. It’s ridiculous. It’s even infecting my house now. My mom has it. Bollocks. She’s stocked up on tamiflu and what not, but it still blows chunks.
I have to keep stopping myself from calling it the swine flu. It’s actually an amalgam of four strains of influenza: one endemic in humans, one in birds, and two in pigs.
But whatever you call it…it’s a fucking nightmare! I literally think that every one has it. Pandemic is right. Fortunately it seems to be rather mild from the cases I have been exposed to. It’ll knock you off your feet for a day or two–but, it’s not appearing to be that serious. And if it’s true you develop an immunity to it…. then rock on swine flu.
Then I can whine and bitch about how sick I am. That will be fun.
Next Topic: Pacific Coast
Oh, sigh. There is no where I’d rather be right now than walking along the beaches and rocky coasts of the Pacific Northwest. Bliss. I was in Washington back in April for a concert with my girlfriend. We started off in Spokane and then caught a bus that took us to Seattle. We saw some truly breathtakingly beautiful scenery. It.Was.Bananas to quote Rachel Zoe. The landscape could not be MORE different than what I’m used to down here in Texas. We have flat land, corn fields, hot hot heat, and some mosquito bump hills to “hike.” We have a coast line that is dirty with poo brown oily water filling up the Gulf of Mexico. And yeah, I guess there are a couple of highlights… the Guadalupe, Comel and Frio River are pretty much awesome. And then there is Enchanted Rock in Fredericksburg. And I guessthere are some pretty things in West west west Texas like Big Bend National Park.
But, uh, yeah. No.
You get your little Texas lovin’ tookus up to the PNW and you will finally see and understand what true beauty is. It’s un.fucking.believable. Truly. It might rain the whole time you are there, but it’s that rain that keeps things lovely and green year round.
I mean, seriously. There is no where else to find such exquisitely unique beauty than tucked away in the mountains of Oregon and Washington. Olympic National Park has always been an ultimate destination for me. It captures such expansive beauty with its gorgeous mountain vistas, its vibrant green rain forests, and of course, the jagged rocky coasts. And then there are the waterfalls! And the Columbia River Gorge! And Mt. Hood! And Mt. Saint Helen’s! And. And.! You can go snowboarding in the winter..and even in the spring! And the flowers! Tulips! And the cool liberal anything goes atmosphere. And… so much. And the rain and the cloudy days! And the trees that looks like Christmas Trees! Sigh. Oh Washington, how I love thee.
Robert Frost: Once By the Pacific
The shattered water made a misty din.
Great waves looked over others coming in,
And thought of doing something to the shore
That water never did to land before.
The clouds were low and hairy in the skies,
Like locks blown forward in the gleam of eyes.
You could not tell, and yet it looked as if
The shore was lucky in being backed by cliff,
The cliff in being backed by continent;
It looked as if a night of dark intent
Was coming, and not only a night, an age.
Someone had better be prepared for rage.
There would be more than ocean-water broken
Before God’s last ‘Put out the Light’ was spoken.
And finally: Paella
I got caught up on Top Chef last night. And it was a pretty good episode. The thing about Top Chef is that I never have ANY idea what the fuck shit they are talking about. I’m not a foodie. I mean I love food. I inhale food. I live for food! But, I am not a wealthy yuppie-puppy. I don’t spend more than 7 dollars on food, ever. ever. ever. So natch, I don’t know much about fine dining or fancy pants cuisine. Nor do I particularly care to. However, Bravo makes the show enthralling even for its non-food junkie viewers. It’s the drama, it’s the tension, its the thrill of the competition and of course it’s the cheftestants that make it worth my while. It’s fun to pick favorites and least favorites. I have those who I loathe, those who I love, and those that make me want to punch my television screen. This season is interesting because of the brother duo. Two brothers are constantly at the top of the pack standing out from the rest. Other front runners include Jenn and the dude that dropped out of MIT…what’s his name? Oh yeah Kevin. He’s pretty rad.
But, my personal favorite is Ashley. Sigh. If you could see me over here typing away you would know that a shower of hearts just fell on top of my head when I said her name. I’m so in love with her big ole dykey self. Like… I watch that show to see her cute dimples, her sex hair, and her plaid flannel shirts. Heh. Oh, and she’s tatted up and used to play basketball–and her voice! All adorable. So adorable.
And she was on the top this week. Not in my bed. But, on the show. She knocked that deconstructed pot roast out of the park. Not that I know what deconstructed means. Nor have I had pot roast.
Whatever, she’s awesome. Keep on keeping on.
Oh, and the loser made a shittastic version of paella, which is some Spanish rice dish. I have no idea. Trust me, I have no clue. But, he said he made it all the time in his restaurant and he still got the boot. Fail!
I love that there are always some gays thrown into the mix. Gays can cook too. Gays can cook too… The other ones actually suck though: Ash and Preeti (who is already eliminated). They don’t really do so hot on the show. But, Ashley’s got a shot to get further in the competition. Yay!
I’m done here. Peace!