The Kitchen Sink
So this is kind of a hodgepodge post. I’m just going to say and post random things that are on my mind. It will kind of be like twitter but ten times the awesome.
Today was pancake day at the house. Today is Saturday. And as everyone knows–pancake day at the Smith dwelling is on SUNDAY. Not Saturday. Not Monday. No. Sunday. Morning. Pancakes are our religion and I’m the most devoted fuckin’ member of the congregation.
Last week Em was here. We did not have pancakes. We had the bacon. But, not the pancakes. It is a ritual here, you know. I asked my dad, “Father Dearest, Donde esta mis panqueques? To which he replied, “I didn’t feel like making them.” GASP. SHOCK. HORROR. It a was rather a devastating blow. For my father and I–are OCD ritual creatures to the max to the nth power. We will eat the same thing every day at the same time and SO HELP ME GOD IF THIS BRAND OF TUNA ISN’T THE KROGER BRAND IN WATER AND NOT CHUNKY AND NOT IN OIL kind of thing. Ahem.
But, anyways, he threw off my game that week. And then today he serves pancakes. I mean, could he not wait a day? Damnit. This is an Obamanation. I don’t want CHANGE. I want routine.
Anyways, the pancakes were good. I ate a lot of them.
My sister and my brother-in-law came into town yesterday afternoon. I adore them both. But, I was too much of a tear-factory last night to really communicate more than with pained grunts and sobs. So, I didn’t get to have my Summer and Josh time. Sigh. At any rate, I got up early today so I could talk with them before they left on their vacation.
It’s their one-year anniversary and they are on a plane right about now to Las Vegas, which is where their wedding was held last year. That trip was the tits, man. It would have been infinitely better if my new girlfriend at the time, Em would have been able to make it. But, things were new and commitments involving vast amount of cash, traveling, and vacation days were not in the cards just yet. I spent the entire duration of my trip talking with her on the phone. My sister will never let me live that one down. I mean… I even missed the Elvis impersonator’s performance. DAMN MY LUCK.
Anyways, my sister is 24 weeks pregnant. I only have one sibling and this is my one shot at being an Aunt and I do not intend to take this responsibility lightly. I’m going to have a niece and her name is Cate Noelle. Cate because really who is cooler than Cate Blanchett (or Kate Winslet for that matter!)? And Noelle because she’s due on Christmas Day. It’s all very exciting. I’ve never been around little babies before and to be perfectly honest I’m more than a little intimidated by them. I am always afraid I’m going to break them, but word on the street is they are surprisingly more durable than you would think. I don’t think I’m going to test that theory out.
Last night I decided that I was going to learn to play lots of lullabies for her. I know that’s not unique in any way. But, I thought it would be something special that I could do for both my sister and for mah widdle baby niecer. Shit, it’s the very least I could do. I know I’ve got a good voice and some mad guitar skillz. I should at least be able to come up with a kickass version of Twinkle Twinkle. I’m pretty stoked. Can you tell? I’ve turned into one of THOSE people who coo over baby clothes now. SIGH.
My sister’s dog Kayla is staying here until my sister gets back from her trip. Kayla is an 8 year old Siberian Husky, who is nothing short of being a BAMF. I adore this puppeh dawg. She was severely abused as a young dog and her mental scars have never fully healed. She doesn’t give you affection until you earn it. And the number of people she loves and trusts is pretty much limited to myself, my sister and my mom. No one else. But damn if she’s not the coolest, most matronly, most loving, most intelligent and awesome dog in the world! I love spending time with her. And apparently so do my pups.
She is the elder member of this little pack though and she lets those young whipper snappers know when they are crossing a line. She makes them straighten up when they are playing too rough or being too annoying. It’s hilarious to watch.
Speaking of my dogs and being annoying and stupid–
Last night I was talking on the phone outside while reclining in the lawn chair. Turns out that was a bad idea since I’m now covered in mosquito bites, but whatever–I do my best thinking when I’m out in nature. At any rate, at one point I heard this strange whistling, buzzing sound emanating from my Australian Shepherd, Raleigh. I whipped around to see what demon had possessed her and how quickly I could exorcise it. And what do I see? A pair of wings sticking out of her little mouth. She’s battling a cicada. And the cicada is clearly losing. I see her struggling to keep it’s wiggly panicked body inside her boca. She clamps down, wings still extended beyond her lips, and with that the cicada stops it’s whirring. She then drops it on the ground and proceeds to slowly EAT IT. Yes. I watched her devour a cicada, bite by bite, as the exoskeleton crunched and eventually disappeared–I just couldn’t stop thinking how ridonkulous this dogs are. Then I fed them. I realized that if they were desperate enough to eat a fucking bug ALIVE, that maybe they needed their Iams fix. But, honestly I’m a fuckin’ Jainist! I never ever harm insects or any creatures… I’m the freak who would cry if you killed a spider or wasp. So, the fact that I did not save this cicada is still weighing heavily on my mind.
Oh, and did I mention I feel like I’m living in the Twilight Zone right now? Or like in some sort of psychological thriller? Cause I do! It’s really entertaining and quite a page turner. Tune in next time as the saga continues!
All of these scars can’t be for nothing. So, I never did take a picture of these bad boys when they were fresh and seepy, weepy, oozy woozy. I didn’t think it was appropriate or necessary to do so. I’m crazy. I admit that. But, I think that documenting the healing process is interesting and more scientific than anything.
Posted on September 5, 2009, in Uncategorized and tagged australian shepherd, collie, cutting, jason's deli, pancakes, pregnant, self mutilation, siberian husky. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.