Dreams, I have Dreams. 06/29/09
So, recently I’ve been dreaming a lot–like, a lot a lot.
And they aren’t good dreams. They are kind of bad dreams or at least not dreams I necessarily want to be reality.
Dreams from the past 24 hours:
– Being left by my family when they went on vacation to some strange place in Iowa.
– Went to a mall, literally ran into this girl passing out perfume samples.
– She dropped all the samples and I chivalrously picked them up for her.
– She developed a crush on me, natch.
– Looked for a suit for some event I had that night.
– Stopped a shop lifter and was given a 1200 dollar tweed designer suit with skull cuff links.
– Became a hero and got the girl.
– Went to some Lego-Land where Lego creatures fought UFC style.
– Had an eating binge where I was cooking all sorts of stuff on the stove.
– My dog, Raleigh, jumped up on the counter while I wasn’t looking and ate the entire pepperoni pizza.
– Got very mad at the dog and kicked and hit her.
– Threw all the food away.
– The next morning I went outside and found out that one of my former foster dogs had killed my collie, Harper.
– Harper was cut up into little pieces and scattered across the porch.
– Just her horse face skull remained intact.
– Raleigh looked dead, but I noticed that she was still breathing.
– She was very tiny. Like the size of a coke can.
– I ran to the vet down the street, crying.
– She ended up dying at the vet due to eating so much that her belly exploded.
– I was glad it wasn’t my fault, but still devastated and losing both of my beloved pups.
– Come home and have my girlfriend call me and say that she has to tell me something that will upset me
– She tells me that she picked up a girl I used to be interested in up at some work conference and drove her home.
– She also bought this girl a chair and a rug from a furniture store.
– She develops a crush on this girl–of course I can’t blame her–but am still hurt.
– I then want to call up this old love interest and see what she says about this whole situation.
– I realize I deleted her from my phone.
– So, I call up her roommate and can hear her roommate ask if she wanted to talk to me.
– She says “no,” which really upsets me.
-I realize that I really want this chick to want me.
– It starts to rain and I ride my bike into the garage.
– The house begins to turn into someone else’s house.
– Three dogs start chasing me and biting me.
– Raleigh reappears alive.
– This is when the Transformers start attacking me.
— Fighting Transformers off with a pair of scissors, an alarm clock and eventually a gun.
– I then go to some museum where I have to have a driver’s license and a permission form to enter.
– Realize I accidentally printed off an employment form instead of a permission form.
-They still let me in because this is a benefit dinner and they don’t care who I am as long as I pay.
– I get into the wrong line for food. I get into the 1,000 dollar dinner line instead of the 10 dollar one.
– I eat a Chick-Fil-A sandwich with steamed chicken and veggies.
– I drive a golf cart around putting the veggies into mailboxes.
– I go to my dead grandma’s house.
– One of my mom’s friends comes over with two babies.
– My grandma and I go outside and sit under a tree and watch my dad, who is now mysteriously a youthful version of himself throw the football around.
-I let my aunt’s dogs out of the invisible fence and then have to go catch them using a tennis ball.
-I enjoy the time spent with my grandma, even if it’s only a dream.
-During this dream I cheated on my girlfriend twice.
-I find 25 dollars and discover that my sister was in Rookie of the Year (not true, by the way!)
-I find a necklace with a JFK pendant on it.
-My sister was also apparently the star of two version of Beverly Hills 90210 with the most pivotal scene of her career being when her boyfriend and her little sister paint over a mural she had painted.
That’s it. But, seriously what the fuck? None of those things make any sense to me.
– Having my girlfriend drive someone I used to be interested in home from some work conference.
– Girlfriend bought said ex-interest a table and a rug from a furniture store.