Category Archives: Emo Crap

Armor

Familiar feelings wrap  tight around my wrist.

Suspicious pangs of pressure creeping in .

This suffocation refusing to subside or disappear.

Afraid to close my eyes; I wait for night to end.

Darkness bringing demons to my bed.

Hands gripped tight around this fragile neck.

Counting circles in a grid, getting lost inside my head.

It never ends until I glimpse the morning light.

Wake up with hopes, each breath filled with new desires.

My lips still tingle with this taste of the right direction.

Unclear as to what could spark this growing fire.

Ignition lit, rifle locked and loaded,  I’m a slave inside my  mind.

I try, but I can sense no boundary. No limit to the sky.

The walls of this cage extinguished, pushing free with time.

But, with each passing hour I lose this lust for change.

I shirk away from the stars–retreating back to Plato’s cave.

Chained up, alone, staring at the wall I crumble.

Indentured to my fears again I admit defeat.

These tears streak my face, but the salt never stains.

For I will rise again to the call of the morning’s promise.

My armor grows stronger with each failed attempt.

And with time I will heed the cries and fall back in line.

http://fineartamerica.com/images-medium/country-morning-sunrise-kimberly-camacho.jpg

You Walk Away

When I count these days on paper.
Turning pages, frantic
flipping through my mind.
Each moment blurred.
Each hour runs together.
Sleeping little since you left.
Lying listless in our bed.
Hopeful glances. Weary eyes.
I never thought this would be easy.
Nothing worth it ever is.
Fighting demons took its toll.
You broke me in. You broke me down.
You broke all I had.
Picture you inside her heart
Inside her arms.
I shut it out. I shut it down.
I’ll never win this game of chance.
Folding at the start, never betting in.
Have you felt that I am worth it?
Do you miss me when I’m gone?
Can you tell me why you left me?
Will you ever love again?
I feel the shift beneath us.
We’re never steady never still.
Boards creak, growing weaker through the years.
Each ravaged from endless war.
Constant battle in my head.
I try to fight, you notice when.
My lips refuse to move, mouth shut.
I let you know my feelings with my eyes.
I’m giving up. I’m giving in.
I let you win. I always did.
Escaped my grasp, you slip away.
Too scared to blink, I’m frozen here.
Grew to need, I grew to care.
This love was always real.
I did all I could to make you stay.
My heart was always in your hands.
Your choice was made.
Regrets begin to fray.
Feeling down. I’m cashing in.
Calling out. You walk away.
I graze your hand this final time.
To proud, to hurt to say goodbye.
I only hope you never saw me cry.
My heart was never yours to take.
I’m giving up. I’m giving in.
I let you win. I always did.

Rainy Day and Cloudy Heart

I gaze into the twilit sky.

It’s colors bleed and so do I.

These blue eyes shine bright with each falling ray.

Behind the gloss, a crystal ball.

A bible of betrayal.

They see the truth.

They know SO much.

Smarter than they seem.

Open wide to every word

And every promise thrown my way.

They always take it in.

Suck it up. And take it in.

Each painted smile.  Each fragile lie.

The callous disregard

Your phony words fall upon deaf ears.

A tired mind.

This defense I’ve built

These weighty bricks held strong.

The mortar wears each time I see your smile.

Your face.

I’ve taken risks.

I’ve let you in.

Hungrily eye my porous skin.

The cracks, the holes.

The ways to reach my barren soul,

Exposed for all to see.

It’s hard to be so free with all I know.

With all I’ve felt so deep below

The surface of these battered limbs

This heart so scarred beneath the blood.

Hiding deep within the ground.

Out of reach from those greedy hands.

I’ve paved the way.

Carved destiny out of all the rocks

Worn so smooth with wanting hands.

Turning over all the stones, hoping.

Waiting for the past to disappear.

For my merits to come through.

To stand there on their own.

To show you what I’ve always known.

I’ll never lie.  Never let you down.

I’ll fight each time life turns its back.

I always do.

To carry you when storms blow near.

Pull you back to shore, wipe your salty tears.

Protect you from the world at bay.

To hold you close

But, all I have to offer is what you see.

Nothing here is less than real.

Dig in your claws, you’ll find I bleed.

I’m not as hollow as you thought.

The echoes bouncing off the walls.

The desperate cries, why can’t you see

It’s all for you.

And nothing’s changed.

And never will.

http://delaney55.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/rainy-day.jpg?w=604

Smorsgabord

A flurry of thoughts on this most awful of days. Find good in the most dire of situations. Take what you want from this as you would a buffet. I focus on the end result. I focus on what will happen–what needs to happen for eternal happiness to be stumbled upon. Believe it or not ladies and gentleman of the jury–I learn from these situations. I am a sheltered kid. I haven’t had enough experiences in life to handle everything per usual. I’m not normal. But, if you want to know what I stumbled upon today and are too sane to understand what my amalgam of nutiness below means. Well, let’s just say that I was “ripped a new one” as “they” say by someone tonight–someone who I don’t know personally. And I actually learned from it.

Things I Figured Out Tonight:
-I have too much time on my hands.
-I’m an emotional hemophiliac (natch!)
-I need to move in with the girl.
-I need to see her more than once a month.
-I need to know that I will sleep beside her every night.
-I need to settle down there–carve my life out of potential
-I already trust her to not be unfaithful–now I just have to drop the jealousy act.
-This is only able to be done if we are no longer separated by 240 miles
-She needs to be honest and open with me and let me know i’m loved
-That be it.

Clarity, rationality, logic.
States of mind that evade me.
Circles, tension, dizzying up the brain.
Alone.
Afraid to lose the one I push away.
Arms tied up in knots.
Mouth saying words my mind denies.
Heart unraveling. Soul destroyed.
Viewed as a villain by few
The few who wield the most control
This is my tragedy.
This is my life.
Antagonist in my own story.
Pieces missing.
Eyes swollen shut. Crusted salt.
No sleep.
Moments blurred together.
Realities, trance, states of mind.
Dreams
What is real?
Two sides to every downfall
Shape shifting from matador to bull
Seeing red
Anger brewing, sadness building
Steam erupts from within
Emotions boiling
Heads colliding, fists pumping
No one ever wins.
Victors cease to be, we all fail
We all fall.
The night time loosens up the lip
The liquor helps
No restraint, floodgates open
Eruption
No understanding, no listening
Muffled cries, white noise
Can you hear me now
My voice reaches no one
Survival mode, engine ignited
this is not a test
Keyboard clicking, cell phone ringing
Monotony, tedium, no dignity
desperation hanging in the air
no respect, no defense
only madness thrown my way
thrown off my game
hurt feelings, misunderstandings
no take backs this time
night to day
no sleep
watch the colors change
tomorrow is a new day
a new life
another chance to start anew
priorities
love
i have feelings too
false accusations ring in my ear
words uttered, never forgotten
digest deep within my gut
i take in every word
process, compute, internalize
I hear you.
I get it.
I shift my perceptions.
I know what love is.
I feel it every second.
It’s not about me.
It’s about you.
I do this for you.
You make me want to be better.
Transforming, growing, shifting
Compromising
Avoiding mirrors for a reason
Reflections rattle my spine
I find merit in their song
Biased, subjective, but raw and real
Loyalty I can respect.
She said. She said.
Repeat.
Jealousy versus Freedom
Trust versus Dishonesty
Circles, patterns, chains
All resolved.
With one move.
We should be sleeping
We should be sleeping together.
Every night.
Problems solved.

Peace.

Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows

I got in a fight with a six feet wooden privacy fence today.  I’m a short kid.  I’m 5 feet 5 on a really good day.  But, when I’m mad–that moss-ridden wood planks got nuthin on me.   I was talking on the phone–a maddening conversation that consisted of my running ’round and ’round in my hamster wheel, never accomplishing jack shit.  The only thing I have to show for that hour long discussion are my battle wounds and Jason’s Deli in mah belly.

I used to have anger problems growing up.  I took everything so seriously back then.  I was a star athlete and scholar.  If I got a ‘B’ on an assignment I’d label myself a failure.  If I missed a shot in a basketball game, I’d punish myself for it when I got home.  My mood has always been unstable and was capable of elevating from 0-60 in milliseconds.  I’ve thrown basketballs and other miscellaneous items at very high velocities out of frustration,  punched doors, walls, cars, floors,  and even my own face many times.  But, I’ve curbed that behavior.

I now am able to calm myself down quickly.  I have learned to see the humorous side of life, where I tend to never get angry or upset–and rather just laugh about whatever trouble life brings me.

Recently it’s been different.  I’m running on fumes here.  I’ve lost all my spunk, all my fight, all my energy for handling these ups and downs.  Gutted completely and struggling to breathe at every moment.

Now if a bad thing happens–I cannot deal it with it properly and my anger escalates to an uncontrollable level.  It’s frightening even me.  Why?  Because clearly I have caused harm to myself–some of it irreparable when my mood fluctuates to such a degree.  I would never hurt someone else, but my own body is in danger.  Not to mention my sanity.

The worrisome part is that in the past four years most of my trouble has stemmed from depression.  When deep within the throes of despair my ability to control my rationality lessens significantly.  I remember  a particular episode two years ago that involved my breaking a wine glass and using the shards to cut deep within the flesh upon my cheek.  I would stop cutting when blood appeared.  Just lots of little shallow scratches.  I did not want to mar myself permanently, but rather was hoping to make the disfiguration of my mind and my soul more promient on my facade.  Crazy.  Yes.   I never told anyone what happened for fear of commitment of some sort.  People at work assumed I had been in a fight.  I told my family something about a biking accident.  It wasn’t until recently I have opened up about that.

But, since July these episodes have become more common, frequent and severe.  I even threw my guitar across my friend’s backyard.  MY GUITAR.

I’ve cut my upper right leg up enough to where I will always have five deep real scars.  The tools used?  Razors, scissors and a knife.  My right shoulder was dug into with a piece of glass–deep enough where stitches should have been utilized.  That moment of weakness will forever be emblazoned upon my upper arm.

The other week I threw my cell phone–full speed–baseball style into the wall of my bedroom.   The area of the house that is supposed to be my peaceful sanctuary has been ruined with these memories of distress and unhappiness.  That and now my phone has brain damage.   Le sigh.

And today–nothing too serious.  Some cut knuckles and a sliced ankle from a misjudged kick.

But, still.

No one should ever feel this way.  I am a pacifist at heart.  I am in love with love and just want the world to be peaceful and full of rainbows, kittens and snuggles.   Because I know that when I am most content in life it’s when my heart is warm and filled to the absolute brim with love.   I do the best I can to make people feel appreciated, special and important any chance I can.  I’m quick to compliment, but it’s never forced or out of any necessity.  I just say what I feel.  I want people to know what they mean to me, and that they matter a great deal.  If I have called you a friend and extended that most exclusive of invitations–I would undoubtedly take a bullet for you.  I am loyal.  I am going to defend you to the death.  And will always have your back.

But, of course, I’m very picky about my friends.  You can’t be a bad person with lax morals and expect me to wrap my arms around you in friendship.  Fuck that.  I select people based on their ability to improve me as an individual, to influence me in a positive way, to make me grow and develop and change for the better–to open my eyes to new ideas and concepts and to expand my idea of what life is all about.

I am never content to hang around people for the sake of company.  I want to learn every day.  I want to be entertained, but in a productive way.  I have grown up so much in the past two months and know that as I am right now–I am a terrific human being with the potential to do amazing things.  I have a lot of maturing to do.  But, I feel that I am lightyears ahead of some people who have actually achieved more in society’s eyes.   I guess in lieu of earning degrees or advancing my career, I have concentrated on improving myself.  It seems sensical to believe that if I better my soul and my internal persona than I will be more prepared for excelling in other areas of life.  That a domino effect would undoubtedly ensue.  A logical chain of events, if you will.

I am becoming much more philosophical in my self-prescribed isolation.  I’m reading a lot.  I’m studying the dynamics of relationships, both intimate and platonic.  I’m adopting an almost out-of-body objective opinion of what makes up my mind and body.  I pick apart my flaws and my imperfections.  I analyze them and am able to pinpoint them whenever I am in the process of making a mistake.  I see the areas that I need to concentrate on when fixing myself up.

And this is all progress for me.  I know I’m not perfect, but I am racking up my karma points right now.  I am making damn sure that I don’t fuck up.  I am doing the best I can to do everything textbook perfect.  And hoping that that eliminates the negative ju-ju from my life and lets in only good positive influences.

I’m working on it.   And that’s all anyone can ever expect for an emotionally drained, bloodied, dumbass, goofy kid of 23.   Now back to my marathon of “Real Housewives of Atlanta.”

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Be Kind Rewind

We’ve traveled down this well worn path before.
The boot prints on the ground are there to stay.
We tread these quiet trails when we are falling.
Trace our fingers in the dirt throughout the day.

We share these times together though it’s over.
Our fingers touch when life cloaks us in despair.
An echo in my ear screams when I struggle.
Ashamed to wield the cross that I now bear.

We peer inside each other putting stitches in the skin.
Scarlett masks the mottled hide; an eruption from our lies.
A familiar pattern woven, needle brands us w/ our sins.
The weighty hands tick madly on.

We dance in circles beneath the starlit skies.
Counting seconds ’til the dawn breaks through the darkened glass.
Tiredly march on throughout the foggy days.
Crash into the waves, unfettered, start anew.

Peeling back the pale facade, staring at these truths.
A furrowed brow masks nothing as it rests above your grin.
I felt your heart beat flutter as you faltered through your lines.
Tin soldiers bang their war hymns, we choose to fight this fight again.

Mistakes marked with passion, pages worn with dogged ears.
Repeating things we’ve heard before, the process has begun.
Our graves remain so shallow as the cycle wheels still spin.
Muscles twitch as pulled so tautly, awaiting the sound of guns.

Blank walls, eternal highways, no warmth nor close embrace.
Our reflection in the puddled blood, love fails to ever show.
The ice slowly thickens as the smiles start to fade.
Mirror skews our reason, as we mime out the words we know.

Our armor of scar tissue protects us from the momentary sting.
Deflects the certainties of knowledge and the logic in our brains.
But, step by step we walk together, locked and intertwined.
No stopping our destruction, find comfort in the eternal rain.

Try

Peek beyond the lies and pain.
Read me all your truths.
Shifting gaze you catch my stare.
Scars carved out from youth.

I’ve felt all that you can and more.
I’ve seen things you’ll never know.
Beaten down and broken I will fall
Smile wider with each brutal blow.

Knocked out. Lying down.
Crawling towards the light above.
Pull back. Hide inside again.
I’ll be ok. You know I always am.

Cracking skulls and bleeding hearts.
Anatomy I understand.
Pick you up and brush you off.
All I can offer is my hand

You move away when I get near.
That sense will serve you well.
So scared of what’s to come.
Entrance you with my spell.

Knocked out. Lying down.
Crawling towards the light above.
Pull back. Hide inside again.
I’ll be ok. You know I always am.

Can’t quite change what I feel.
I know it’s wrong, but so am I.
Take my vitals, hear them now.
I swear they’ll never lie.

Caught beneath the waves.
Gasping for the past.
Be brave; accept the now.
I promise this will this last.

Knocked out. Lying down.
Crawling towards the light above.
Pull back. Hide inside again.
I’ll be ok. You know I always am.

As the World Spins Madly On

I spend a lot of time in bed these days–and unfortunately for me that’s less sexy than sad. As much as I would like to communicate how my charming womanizing ways led to a number of fun-fulfilled romps on top of my goose down comforter–it’s more meant to convey my inability to crawl from beneath my safe haven of warmth and security and out into the harsh scary realities of the world. It’s my unwillingness to turn a blind eye to the manipulations and rejections of my surroundings and focus on the good. Because right now I feel or see so little positive in anything around me. I have my health. I have my dogs. I have my family. I have a roof over my head and food in my belly. But, other than that, any perceptions of optimism are merely transitory and ephemeral–meaning they won’t be around for long. I am sane enough to see that.

I buy into the pursuit of happiness time and time again–thinking I found something special and lasting. Thinking that I finally stumbled upon a piece of what everyone around seems to own and embody. Thinking that I finally found someone real to hold onto when it all gets too much to bear. Thinking that when life gets rough and knocks me over that this person won’t run away and get scared. Thinking that I have finally been saved from myself–pulled from the wreckage of my past mistakes.

I, more than anyone, know that dealing with me is difficult. I’m not an easy friend to have around. I’m a challenge, every. single. fucking. day. So, when people around me pack up their suitcases and hightail it out of my life, I don’t fault them. I fault myself for being stupid enough to trust them. For someone so smart, I can be a real dumbass when it comes to instilling trust in others. I put my faith in the first flashy thing with promises a plenty– that comes into the room these days. It’s becoming a desperate and pathetic attempt to connect to another entity. I crave that connection like a vampire craves blood. We are similar in that way… our selfish natures…make us crave and desire that which we cannot have without killing those we love. We suck those around us dry, metaphorically and literally.

And for that I apologize. I’m truly working on this. For as deeply as I understand myself, I seem to be entirely incapable of correcting my faults. Exercises in rationality are apparently fruitless as I continue to make the same mistakes day in and day out. My selfish nature leading me to want everything and then when I leave with nothing, I am confused and empty and sincerely downtrodden at my misfortune. I wake up one morning with the whole world in front of me lending me its hand and pass out in the evening with everyone turning their back on me when I need them most.

It’s a cyclical process of love and loss–of both heartfelt passion and heartbroken melancholy. But, how does one go about ending this cycle of destruction? I certainly know that these repetitions of hope and downfall are not special to me–I could segue into an unwarranted harangue on racism and such and how cyclical THAT is. But, I won’t. I want to talk about me. me. me. (see the selfishness?)

I’m not sure if it’s actually egoism/narcissism that leads me to be so self-centric. I think I am just so entirely focused on cracking the cataclysmic chain of events that leads me to this pit of despair so frequently in recent months–that every brain cell I have is devoted to that area right now. So, as soon as I figure myself out, I like to think that I can start noticing the billions of other people and their problems in this world. But, for now my life is limited to paying attention to me, and perhaps three other people at any given moment.

I have a lot to give to others. My main goal in life, honestly, is to make my true friend’s days go a little smoother than they would have without me. I NEED to be wanted, looked to in times of duress or ecstasy, and I NEED to be appreciated. More selfishness? Perhaps. But, it comes from a good place. I’ve never once been needed by anyone. I have felt that throughout my entire life I’ve given so much and received so little in return (except from my parents) that eventually I inched my way into the middle of my room, curled up into a ball on the floor, and blindfolded myself in a vain attempt to avoid seeing or dealing with anyone. I shut them all out of my life. I made sure that no one was allowed in and that I would cease to give anymore to those who so often took me for granted. And it worked. I lost everyone.

And then I met someone who made me want to give again. Just like that a light switched in me and I was no longer cold, no longer distant, and no longer off limits. I was able to live again. It was a change that was so drastic and yet seemed so subtle. I didn’t even realize it. It was a shift that went unnoticed to many, but affected those who I directed it towards. I loved giving. But, the thing is–as loving as I can be–it is give and take with me. I can’t give forever without a “thank you” in return–or some sort of acknowledgment of my actions as being appreciated by those I devote myself to. I know, it’s a little twisted–but the truth is the truth. I am nothing if not honest. And I eventually realized that I was no longer needed there, and I moved on. She did not need me and I felt that I no longer needed her. I was on my own again.

And almost immediately following this foray into the world alone…. I stumbled quite literally over another crop of people who brought instant joy and vivacity to my life. But, as soon as I finally find those who were able to recognize incontrovertible kindness and generosity– I find a way to fuck it up–like clockwork, baby! I set myself up for failure. Honestly, I never stood a chance. I don’t know why I do this. Do I believe that I do not deserve happiness? Do I feel as though I am only destined to thrive and survive in desolation and despair? What are my motives behind these actions? I understand that one cannot help who they FALL for. But, I should be able to control how I deal with a certain situation. My evolved sense of self-control should kick in–but fails every time as my instinctual desire to obtain that which I want at any cost begins to rear its ugly head. It’s not that I believe that I am entitled to things. In fact, I fear I believe that the opposite is true. I am able to recognize that those who DO win out against me are far more worthy and deserving of whatever it is that they obtain control of. I do know, however, that I have so much to give someone else. I’d make a great girlfriend. I’d make a great friend. I’d make a great person for someone else. I have begun to discover that I’m a very complex, interesting, and somewhat of a rare find as a person– I believe there is rarely a dull moment with me. Which is partially due to my inability to censor myself–I am always honest–to a fault. So, I will say things without thinking and oftentimes those things are great discussion starters.

But, I’m also fairly introspective, self-deprecating, sardonic, and oftentimes downright clever… and I do admit that I have a good amount of artistic talent–if you are into the wrist-slitting, sensitive poet type. Without adding fuel to the ever flaming (in more ways than one) stockpile of hurt, longing and heartache– then what would I have to write or bitch about? In poetic ways, of course.

That, coupled with my unbridled enthusiasm for seeing those that I love and adore happy and content, are the only reasons I can imagine someone wanting to ever lay beside me each and every night. The physical attraction will fade once they begin to view the smile lines as physical manifestations of the grief that flows down the cracks in my face so frequently. The emotional attraction will dissipate into nothingness as they discover that the darkly romantic charm is forever etched upon my heart–never to allow anyone further than the gates outside. I’ve developed an impenetrable defense mechanism preventing almost everyone from seeing any deeper than the organ’s facade. I’ve let a select few in recently… thinking that I’d be safe from destruction with these particular cases. But, even then I was left more ravaged and destroyed than I was before.

Pain that won’t go away, but will make me smarter, stronger and more resilient to the effects of this twisted earth. I’ve actually stopped flinching when objects fly my way. I anticipate them. I’ve learned from this shit, believe it or not. I mark each crushing disaster as a learning period. Of course, this last time was different. I asked for this. I knowingly walked with my head held high into a situation that I KNEW WOULD DEVASTATE ME. I knew it. But, the good outweighed the bad. The annihilation of my trust and sense of self would be worth the moments of sheer breathtaking happiness. And there were those fleeting seconds. Periods of time where my heart could fly no higher, where my smile could grow no wider, where there would be no way to craft a moment in time that could out-awesome the one I was experiencing. And for those instants… I was able to push away the darkness and see light through the clouds above. It was a glimpse into the life I could have if things were to ever work out in my favor.

I knew they wouldn’t. I’m like Jack Dawson in “Titanic.” “I’m not an idiot. I know how the world works. I’ve got ten bucks in my pocket and I’ve nothing to offer you and I know that. But I’m too involved now…You jump, I jump remember? I can’t turn away without knowing you’ll be alright.” Cheesy as you may feel that line is, it cuts deep… I feel it burning in my veins as I read it now. I have so little to offer in terms of material possessions or security for the future, but what I can offer in the now is that of infinite love and devotion. When I care, I care more than most will ever know or experience in their lives. I know what love means. I didn’t for years. But, I do now. I’ve felt it. And I know what unrequited love feels like, and am still left relatively unjaded. I don’t know who to thank for that. But, it’s something that few possess or know how to handle. I have to keep putting myself out there, keep offering my still-beating heart to those willing to accept it… knowing that with a single slip up, mistake, or capricious alteration in feelings or emotions that it will be dropped to the ground in a bloody hypnotic pool of suffering and sorrow. But, I do it because I KNOW that someone out there will stoically and steadfastly lock my gaze with theirs and stand there holding that power of promise in their open hands… and will thank me for the opportunity. I believe that. My days of believing in soul mates is over. But, I think there are those out there made for me at any given period of time. It just takes awhile to find them. Or for them to find me?

I’ve even grown tired of my own self-pity and loathing in the past couple of days. I am typically so quick to bounce back from situations that leave me broken and hurt. I’m the one who can avoid real-life while I quietly heal within. But, this time was different and I knew it. I had never felt this way before–about a friend or the object of my affection. All of it was more intense than is typical with me. And I had to make choices, decisions that would destroy what I had that was so great. But, it’s over now. And I’m regretfully accepting that with a lump in my throat and weight upon my chest.

And so today is the last day I’m allowing myself to mope about in my rancid puddle of dejection, rejection, heartache and morbidity. Tomorrow will be a new day. I will look towards the future and away from the past. But, make no mistake… I will fall into the same trap again. It takes little to pull me back into the quicksand I so frequently find myself wallowing in. A sweet word, a gentle caress, a simple text message– anything will fill my heart with hope only to be stunned and surprised when I run full speed into the brick wall ahead.

It’s a process… one of repetition which I will eventually escape from. But, until then…use me for my naivety and desire to please.

This blog brought to you by:
Halo- Beyonce
Greg Laswell- Comes and Goes
Greg Laswell- Off I Go
Jim Ward- Broken Songs
MIA- Paper Planes
Instrumental version of 21 Guns by Green Day
Metric- Help I’m Alive
Brandi Carlile- Tragedy
Ingrid Michaelson- Be OK
Bruce Springsteen- Streets of Philadelphia
The Weepies- The World Spins Madly On
Kaki King- Pull me Out Alive

and people who know who they are.

A songy song poem. of songs and lyrics and rhythms and rhymes and songs.

When the wind blows in your hair.
All I see is what I want to see.
And it hurts. When I wake from this dream.
And I find. I’m alone on my knees.

And it’s true. That I’m feeling this way.
I’m fall-ing quite hard over you
There’s the pain that I wear on my sleeves
please beware, it’s a dangerous disease

And when I breathe you’re there.
Making your way
and you stay away
in my mind
I’ll keep you away from the world
And you’ll always be mine.

I know that you feel that you’ve nothing to say.
That you’re nothing to no one.
And your words fall away.
There’s more to you there than you’ll ever see.
And there’s less to me here than you want there to be.

I’ll hear your cries, when no sound’s in the air.
As you walk away when there’s no one around.

I’m there when you’re searching
I’ll hear your call.
I’m here when you need me.
When you’re feeling small.
We’ll travel together. We’ll laugh til it’s dawn.
I know you’ll remember me when I’m gone.

And when I breathe you’re there.
Making your way and you stay
away in my mind
I’ll keep you away from the world
And you’ll always be mine.

All I can promise is all that I know.
Each moment I’ll treasure
Each smile I’ll stow.
I’ll keep it forever, to keep me afloat.
If I start to drown, I hope that you know.
That you changed how I thought and you changed how I feel.
And I know that for once, that this love is for real.

And when I breathe you’re there.
Making your way and you stay
away in my mind
I’ll keep you away from the world
And you’ll always be mine.

and that’s fine.

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